{home a haven} peace - part three

Thursday, November 21, 2013

For other posts in this series, look here:

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."         - Maya Angelou
The whole purpose of making our homes a haven is to bring peace and happiness to our families. A beautiful, clean, and wonderful home gets it's value in being a blessing to the people that live there. The wonderful things we do in our house are only tools to build our love and relationships with others.  Without people a home is just a house.

Here are some ideas on bringing peace into the relationships in your home:
  • Eliminate chaos by being organized. Clear communication about your needs and obligations, regular scheduling and planning meetings, and clearly defined expectations from each family member will help eliminate a lot of little frustrations and help all the business of life run smoothly. BH and I try to always have three things:
    • A Weekly Touch Base to discuss the budget, our plans for the week, etc.
    • A Daily Chat when he gets home from work to see what each others needs are (mine is usually a break from my adorable but super independent Baby Bear and a big hug, his is usually a tall glass of water and to tell me about what he heard on talk radio at work)
    • Some Bedtime time together to just de-stress from the day, tell cute stories about what the Boo Boo did, and read scriptures together. We usually mean for it to only take a few minutes, but often end up talking for a long time about anything and everything. Then he usually goes back to work on music projects and I try to catch some sleep before the first midnight snuggle with the Baby Girl.
  • Have a mutually agreed on budget. I love Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace. Being on the same page about money and having a plan means always knowing that you'll have enough to feed the kids, even if you don't have enough to go to the movies. Single-minded-moneyness is one of the greatest blessings to a marriage and family.
  • Be careful in the way you react to hard things. Don't respond to conflict with wild emotions. Instead, take a little break to understand and organize your feelings. Often what I initially react to is not what is really making me upset. If I will give it a little time, I can often discover what my real concern is and communicate it in a calm and organized way.
  • Always remember you are on the same team. When ever I start to feel like BH and I are on opposing teams, we try to stop and check in with each other to find out where we are and how we can get back to the same spot before we erupt into an angry fight.
  • Bring peace into your relationships by bringing Christ and Heavenly Father into your relationships. See your family members as their best selves like God the Father does. Think the best of them and give them room to grow. Be their strongest supporters and quickly forgive them. Pray as a couple and as a family, and more importantly, be the answers to each other's prayers.

I wish I could say I was an expert on any of these things. I am lucky if I am doing a handful of these things at the same time. You don't have to be doing everything all at once to succeed. Each thing you do that is good brings benefit to you whether you do it for a day, a month, or a year. Life is vibrant and can be wild at times, but each little bit of peace we bring to our homes brings with it a greater ability to thrive and succeed. Each peaceful moment is an opportunity to love and grow closer to our families. And each morsel of peace we feel is an opportunity to talk with Him and feel His love around us. 

“The ideal place [where peace and serenity prevail] is within the walls of our own homes, where we have done all we can to make the Lord Jesus Christ the centerpiece. One of the greatest blessings we can offer to the world is the power of a Christ-centered home where the gospel is taught, covenants are kept, and love abounds.”
Richard G. Scott, "For Peace at Home"

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