{obesessed} femme

Sunday, April 07, 2013

I am openly and unapologetically feminine.

I am an adventurous girly girl. Though I grew up spending hours in my dad's garage building and fixing and love outdoorsy adventures and exploring and frolicking, I am a ruffly-chiffony-girly girl all through. A good portion of my dream closet would look like this....

...with a pretty little blouse for each and everyday. At the apparel company I work for, any style that has a row of ruffles is called a Monica style. I believe in Greek proportions and loooooove pretty heels, though I don't wear them much these days.

I am also giving Darling Babe a head start on being a girly girl. We picked up this little frock for her at Target on a shopping outing with my mom and sisters...
...and can you believe it was just $12? Available here. Love Target for little girly clothes.

I am also a tentative feminist.

I am tentative because I haven't read up on or participate in "feminist culture" and also don't accept the label feminist. I don't accept all the implied beliefs and implied definitions that go with the title Feminist. I adore being a mother and wife. They are the most valuable identities I have besides being a daughter of God. I feel like a lot of feminist writings tell me that my path as a traditional woman with focus on family and home is less valuable than one that focuses on career and personal pursuits and is not my personal choice, but one pushed upon my by a patriarchal society.

Instead, I'll go with Virginia Wolf's definition of a feminist as "any woman who tells the truth about her life". The truth is that I love and adore my life. I believe in women's equality, but don't believe that to be equal to men we have to strive to be the same as men. There are real injustices and inequalities out there, historical and modern issues like sufferage and domestic violence are incredibly important and worthy causes. But in our haste to reach equality I hope we don't leave the things that are beautiful about being a woman to chase opportunities to be the same as a man. I believe in equal work for equal pay, but don't need to see an equal number of female CEOs as male CEOs because there may be less women who desire to be a CEO than men. Their inclinations may lead them to more creative professional or personal pursuits, desires to be home teaching and loving children, or out exploring the world without monetary concerns as their driving force.

For most of us, whatever our vision of our perfect and desired life is, are still on the journey. We have to make compromises and pay our dues until such a time as we are able to live our dreams. Moms who want more than anything to stay home with their precious babes are required to work inside or outside the home to provide the necessities for those they love most. Moms who stay at home temporarily put their personal pursuits aside and sacrifice their time fulfilling the consuming needs of their young children, planning for the day when they will again have time to work on projects of their own. And many other women go faithfully to work and make great gains in their professional careers while secretly and patiently waiting for the day when they will be able to share in the joy and sacrifices of having children and families of their own.

"One of the greatest jobs a person can have is to influence a child" (or something more eloquent than my memory, from Primary General President Rosemary M Wixom)

To be a feminist I believe is to honor and sustain women's strengths and unique characteristics. We are intelligent women who have valuable contributions to make to society, economy, and community. We as feminists should value each woman's choice to make those contributions where she will, at home, at work, in communities and in individual lives. We should have respect for both the choices women make and have care and compassion for those choices they wish they could make.

That is why I am a feminine feminist.

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  1. Wonderful post. I love the thought and how you express your love of things others disparage. Thanks for the Virginia Wolff quote.


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