{merrily married} potty talk

Friday, April 12, 2013

*disclaimer: I usually like to talk about pretty things, but sometimes life is messy.

I'm not entirely sure why, but a lot of fights start in the bathroom. I came to this conclusion before BH and I were married. Think about it... toothpaste, toilet paper, toilet seats... bathrooms are the den of marital displeasure. I was quite proud of my self and decided then and there, in my itty bitty tiny apartment that would soon become our first home together, that I wouldn't let little things like that get in the way of our happy marraige.

Toothpaste was, in fact, just a commodity. If we really needed the toothpaste to be rolled or squeezed a certain way I could just buy another tube and we could each have our own to be as OCD or as free-sqeezin' with as we pleased. Besides, you should have some extra toothpaste on hand anyways.

And toilet paper rolls were easily and effectively changed. Babe didn't have a stance on the Over vs Under issue and if he did by chance put the roll on the wrong way (I, and most of the hospitality industry with me, are decidedly Over-ers), I could just flip it and be eternally grateful that he didn't leave me hanging with and empty roll on the dispenser with my bum in midair. (pardon the French).

Toilet seats are a bit trickier, but also conquerable. The way I saw it, our combined utilization of the toilet could be split 50/50. But if he had to lift the lid, then put the seat down again, he would be responsible for 100% of the seat movement. That seemed a bit unfair. If I had to drop the seat half the time and he had to lift it half the time, that seemed a fair trade off. So, in exchange for him committing to always be the one to clean the toilet, I promised I wouldn't hold him responsible to always put the toilet seat back down.

I thought I was so smart, not even married yet and already solving the world's marital problems. Little did I know that there were plenty of other things, important and trivial, to have disagreements about. But at least I can pee in peace.

And now, because Baby always needs to be a part of the conversation, I have a rather unpleasant smelling diapy to tackle. Too bad she can't yet reach the toilet seat herself.

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